Auspicious Wedding Date
- Vivian Tay
- Jan 25
- 6 min read
Why Do You Need An Auspicious Wedding Date?
Congratulations, 家有喜事! A wedding is one of the major life events and I am sure all newlyweds wish to start their lifelong journey right! Shortlisting auspicious dates for wedding can be quite a daunting task though and some may even wonder why there is a need for an auspicious date? Apart from traditional Chinese culture and customary requirements, auspicious wedding date selection is essential to Chinese Metaphysics, Bazi, and Feng Shui.
The selection of an auspicious wedding date goes beyond Chinese zodiac signs or referring to the Chinese calendar. Although Zodiac signs form a part of the couple's Bazi, the Zodiac signs themselves are inconsequential to determining auspicious marriage dates. Most Feng Shui Masters will require birth dates and birth time to determine one's "sheng cheng bazi," aka 生成八字. This sheng cheng bazi will be used to determine the favourable dates and also to ensure that there are no Bazi clashes with the couple's preferred period and time.
More than just Wedding Date
Under the influence of Asian cultures, auspicious marriage date selection goes beyond the actual wedding date itself. For marriages adhering to Chinese traditions, it is common to have a separate traditional wedding ceremony (tea ceremony) and the official registration of marriage. Although these two may fall on the same date, some couples arrange them on separate days.
The traditional wedding ceremony in the local context usually refers to the "Traditional Chinese Wedding Ceremony." However, in some cases, there are more marriage rituals than just the tea ceremony. From the betrothal gift ceremony to fetching the Bride from her parent's house, these Chinese wedding traditions are very particular about adhering to auspicious dates and even auspicious times. Although some younger generations are skeptical, auspicious wedding date selection remains largely popular. After all, why risk your dream wedding celebration? In this article, we will have an in-depth discussion on:
1) The common process of a traditional Chinese wedding
2) Tips for selecting suitable dates and ideal time for your wedding day
3) Providing you with insights on how auspicious marriage dates are essential for a perfect wedding.
The 5 Processes of a Traditional Chinese Wedding
For better understanding, we summarised the processes of a traditional Chinese wedding into 5 key milestones. They are:
Betrothal Gift Ceremony (过大礼)—A pre-wedding ritual, it involves the groom sending betrothal gifts to the Bride's family as a sign of sincerity and appreciation. An auspicious date is selected to send this gift, which usually varies according to the dialect of the Bride's family. A return gift (回礼) is usually done after the Bride's family receives the betrothal gift to express acceptance.
Installation of the Bridal Bed (安床)—This is also a pre-wedding ritual. This ceremony involves setting up the matrimonial bed. It is commonly done a few days or a week before the wedding. Similarly, an auspicious date and time are selected. The purpose of 安床 is to ensure that the couple will be blissful and loving throughout their marriage. The process requires Bedroom Feng Shui and establishes the newlywed's auspicious direction. You may refer here for information on good Feng Shui practices for Bedrooms.
Fetching of Bride from her parent's house (迎接)—The fetching of the Bride from her house is one of the more important aspects for which auspicious timing and a specific date are required. Forming part of the wedding ceremony date will also involve the more commonly known process of gate-crashing. After which, when the Bride leaves her home (出阁), they will proceed to the groom's parents' house.
Stepping into Groom's parents' house (过门) - After entering the groom's family, the much-awaited tea ceremony (敬茶) will take place. Usually, there will also be an auspicious date and time to meet for the tea ceremony.
Return to the Bride's parents' house (回门)—Traditionally, the Bride returns to her family home for a visit after three days. This has been modernised, and it is common to see the Bride changing an outfit (to signify the passing of three days) before returning home after the 过门 ceremony.
Depending on the individual, some of these processes are not practiced, while others may include other marriage rituals such as the Proposal date (送日提亲) and the hair Combing Ritual (上头).
Tips: Selecting Auspicious Dates for Marriage
1. Consulting the Chinese Almanac (Tong Shu)
Have you ever seen a Chinese Almanac? It is the most fundamental book for auspicious date selection. It takes experience to select a highly auspicious date for a wedding, especially when there are conflicting animal signs or time constraints as part of the wedding arrangements. (Wedding dates and time requirements—the usual dates for tea ceremonies will coincide with the banquet dinner itself, which is more often than not over the weekends.)
The Chinese almanac primarily uses zodiac signs to establish auspicious dates for weddings. However, for an experienced practitioner, these dates are not all equally auspicious. There could be two lucky wedding dates or two auspicious times for weddings, but each brings about different degrees of positive energy. Due to practicality, such instances are rarely told to clients. At Moon FengShui, as it is crucial to strike a balance between auspiciousness and practicality, we would fully disclose and allow the couple the onus to select.
2. Avoiding Inauspicious Dates and Clashes
Some dates are just inauspicious or have customary clashes; they have nothing to do with one's Bazi. So, what are these dates?
1) The lunar calendar's 7th month—For obvious reasons, we try to avoid the ghost months for weddings.
2) Passing of a loved one (Parent or Grandparent)—If this occurs, the couple must marry within 100 days of the deceased's passing or wait 3 years before doing so as a sign of respect.
3) Certain festivals are not ideal for weddings. A good example would be the Qing Ming Festival or the Chong Yang Festival.
4) Clashes—Based on the Bazi of both couples, there may be clashes in zodiac signs or clashes in their Bazi reading with the date itself. The latter being the more serious of the two, it will be difficult for someone to do that based on free-to-use software or online sources.
3. Consulting a Feng Shui Master
Most Feng Shui Masters offer auspicious wedding date services. Selecting an auspicious wedding time for the various processes can be daunting. However, with greater emphasis on seeking a harmonious union, wedding planners now work with Feng Shui Masters to establish auspicious Chinese wedding dates for newlyweds. Some may prefer to seek their own preferred Feng Shui Master to have a more customisable and personalised approach, especially when they wish to find out more about how these auspicious dates can work in their favour.
Feng Shui Masters usually do not just stop at Zodiac Signs for their analysis. Depending on each Master, they may offer a priority list of lucky wedding dates based on your selected Chinese wedding traditions. Some may provide you with an explanation and elaboration on each date.
At Moon FengShui, we offer customised and personalised approach for your wedding dates and time selection. By incorporating the 生成八字 of the newlywed, we will select a date, accurate to the time, that is auspicious for the wedding process. We fully understand that the availability of hotel venues may be limited, and there might be inherent challenges such as logistics, distance, or other marriage rituals that may surface. As such, we listen and communicate with each couple to understand their unique requirements before offering a list of dates. Remember, not all dates are equal. We will also make it a point to explain each option so that you will have the most ideal wedding.
Navigating Modern Challenges
While the belief in auspicious wedding dates remains strong in Singapore and Southeast Asia, modern challenges such as busy schedules and venue availability can make it difficult to adhere strictly to traditional practices. In such cases, couples often seek the guidance of professional wedding planners or use online tools that calculate auspicious dates based on astrological calculations. These tools are usually built on generic models and serve more as a reference rather than a reliance.
Interestingly, some articles suggest auspicious dates for weddings. It is hard for someone to believe that auspicious wedding dates are common across the board for everyone.
Conclusion
Wedding planning may be stressful for couples. From wedding styles to wedding attire, this special event requires months of planning. While marriage dates or lucky wedding dates may be important, do not add additional pressure to an already full load of wedding planning checklists. Leave this selection to your trusted partner, either a wedding planner or a Feng Shui Master.
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Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional Feng Shui advice. Feng Shui practices and interpretations can vary, and their effectiveness may differ based on individual circumstances and specific locations. For personalized guidance, it is strongly recommended to consult with a qualified Feng Shui Master or professional consultant who can assess your unique situation. The author and company are not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the application of Feng Shui principles described in this article. Always use caution and discretion when implementing any Feng Shui methods.
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